Me and Babak in Timsar's house on the day of valimeh!!

We moved to a one bedroom first rented it from my cousin�s husband�s brother�s wife a n Italian woman talking farsi with an accent. We settled there thou again never my parents were invited and I was not quite welcome not being a BAHAI. Once we went to the seaside and Bahman and I had a fight and timsar was sitting outside our bedroom thou we made up in the room and were sleeping he was saying �so many girls we showed Bahman and he chose this girl himself and has a fight with�. O.K with Bahman you had to be submissive and if you totally listened to him then he was a kind husband,I mean if I would put bleach cream on my face he would make a scene or since he hated TV our smallest item in the house was a little TV and if I would watch TV he would be offended. I did not know how to be political with a man and play the game. I had a break down once in London, and twice we got separated and right when I told myself this month when I get my period I ask for a divorce the test results came and I was pregnant. Everyhting changed since I strongly disagree with abortion and I was told when you have a child things get better. O.K Timsar was watching me for how much salt I take and nutrition was his number one concern thanks GOD, I thought they liked me but even for as long as I was breast feeding my body was important ,thou in the party to show the baby to the relatives I was not invited. These little incidents hurt and made me withdraw. We moved to a 2 bedroom after Babak�s birth. Well its funny that when my son was being born I had a c-section and when I woke up they said I cant see the baby for 24 hours!!! Weird I paid some money to the nurse and they brought the baby in the room far away from me and showed him to me. Nobody let me hug him. I heard later the bond happenes then and I was deprived from it. When I first saw him he looked so beautiful and had red lips. I loved him immediately. The next day I was sitting in the chair the nurse came and said do you want to breast feed the baby. I said how? I don�t have milk,she said yes you do. They put the baby in my arms and Babak started sucking and wow there were so much milk I could feed another baby too!! Strange works of God. I heard Timsar was worshiping the ground since a boy was born a day before their new year,Rezvan. I wanted to go to my mother�s house after I gave birth since I knew nothing about raising a baby, I remember I was there 3 days and somehow I was returned to my one bedroom against my will. Bahman�s family were too strong to fight with. I was alone, with a c-section and had to take care of a baby. I hated it again. Humiliation was a lot like my mother�s house was not clean or big enough to have Babak in there. We moved to another 2 bedroom and after 5 months we hired a phillipino maid(angela) so I could go back to work. That maid had more power over my child than I did. I had to always be an observer,VOJOODE HAZERO GHAEB.
Revolution happened and I talk about that in my book . I remember me an dTimsar standing next to the wal and we hear people shouting in gheytarieh and I was scared . timsar said don�t be these mullahs have to be thrown in the sea like atatork did in Turkey. Later when I went to demo of women against hijab Timsar said you are a brave woman.
And then I was told that they want to go to Canada! Hello where was I in this decision? Then I agreed to a divorce since I was given the papers to sign for Canada cause the Canadian embassy forced them to. AT divorce time I found out that there is a rule being enforced that sons are given to fathers at 2 years old and usually the fathers would give them back to mothers which Bahman did not and took Babak with him. Daughters were given to fathers after 7 years. I said to myself first the law wont let me have him and second he is from a Bahai family and the revolution in Iran was a dangerous situation so I let them to take Babak outside of Iran to England first,then Switzerland and then to Canada., I had no other choice either with stupid rules of divorce against me and his Bahai grand pa and revolution I thought its better for him to be outside Iran. My days of being a Zambi started and went on for 25 years. I saw Timsar again in Switzerland, he had an operation on his kidney and stones as big as river bed stones came out of his kidney. The hospital in Switzerland wanted to put those stones in museum�.to be continued