Father and us in Shiraz,click here to see his poem

pedarmadarbachehashiraz
Originally uploaded by roya parsay.

Pedar(father) was different from anybody and everybody I know. Yes he was short since my grand ma was short, but more handsome than any tall man I know. He was well educated,very very sharp,knew English like his mother's tongue and could translate it, also was a prosecutor, lawyer and scholar,POETpoem1 about mother,connceting first letters of each verse creates mother's name (shokouh aghdas massihnia),poem2 another one about mother recited at age 20,poem3 in oil company of Abadan) .He has a lot more poems written here and there. He was saying weird things like Satan is an angel and the rest would say astaghforela! HE could recite any poem and knew the meanings well. At the age of 20 he recited this poem for my mother and dif you attach the beginning of each verse my mother's name will be spelled,shokoh aghdas massihnia! How neat. I can't recite one line of poem and he did that when he was 20.
He was beyond his age and time, also very political and he was living a political life then that now after revolution some groups do. He was doing nafarmani madani (civil disobedience) then, like not paying his traffic tickets to oppose the regime (he did not like a monarchy system). And also he was soooo in love with Mossadegh that he named my brother Mossadegh. I always thought why he choose someones else's last name for my brother? Till I read the article in Time magazine, he was the man o fthe year once and nationalized the oil in Iran.
Every time I had to write my info. On applications like for Army,sanaye nezami,sanaye electronic, was afraid to spell my brother's name, but some how my aunt's background was checked to the core and she passed the test so I guess that name did not bother anybody since they were in power.
He was all of that but in normal daily life he was irresponsible and not a daily father type. I understand him now since I don't have a normal life or any member of opposition does not have a normal life either, but then it would bother me. Like I see all my friend's fathers and they were normal or looked normal but my fther was living in a dream, everytime he turned on the TV he would say " dom dare, som dare, khar," the beginning of our national anthem. He also was drinking in the end thou not in front of us but I saw him drunk twice. He fell in the snow and broke his leg. I now understand how difficult it is to live under a regime you oppose and I would be drunk everyday too.
You see we had ONE party called Rastakhiz and if you were AGAH(aware!) you would suffer daily. He never took us to school and I said why you can't take care of your family and wanna solve the world's problem. Same is with me now, I was not a good mother to my son(patrtially I was forced to and for his safety I let him eleave Iran)but all in all I rather solve the world's problems than my little nest. Everyday life is boring to me as it was for my father.
He loved me a lot and I could get by. In the picture we all went to Shiraz when I was 9? Years old, with khanoom mohajer who had OCD and cleaned everything(all samovars in coffe shops on the road were cleaned by her)!! Maybe Maliheh my cousin was with us too.
I felt like a normal family then. His political activities were serious and he was with Mossadegh, as you saw his poem in Abadan shows how much he liked Mossadegh.

I remember when I was 17 and leaving Iran to study in America he gave me a small booklet(loghat mani) and wrote in there some sentences in English that he thought I might need. It was funny he wrote "our customs are different" and he said if a guy asked you out for a date you say no thanks and say our customs are different. He also once took me to pezeshki ghanooni cause I fell from the cherry tree and was begging the Dr. to examine me. I did not understand then, but now I know he was worried about my virginity!! Even after I returned from state, 2 days before my marriage he would not let me go out and see Bahman and I had to argue! He accepted my marriage cause I wanted it, he loved my son a lot and tried to bring him a portable bed(thou poorly designed) so we can take my son to the sea side with us. He did not like the seaside,his blood pressure would drop. he also had migrane thou at that time there was no name for it and we keep killing sheeps for his health, thou he did not believe in thos ethings. I dont know if my son remembers anything about him.
He loved my mother so much that after he first met her, he ran away to Mashhad to Mr.Mehrpour's house and said he loves this girl and need help to marry her, but at the time of marriage when mother had so much JAHAZ(drawery), he said well camel has jahaz too!!(it's the same word in Farsi)
My father's family was very different from my mother' side. He went to London when no one has gone,had a TV when nobody in neighbourhood had one, had an alfaromeo when noone else had. He WAS DIFFERENT.He taught me a lot but rarely kissed me, my mother too, they did not kiss us or say dear and stuff but in their way would give their life for us. Father got separated from mother and lived in Amirabad. We all left the Darrous house and went to Gheytarieh.
He was very educated and AREF and he was different. HE brought me a toy from England and I adored it. He was very white and in summer when we all swim he was too white! He threw each one in the water without our safety belt after he made sure we knew how to swimm. Once I ran away from home and had 2 tomans and went to my grandma's house. Upon my return he was at my aunt's house I went there scared. He forgave me. I once asked him what is your belief? He said Mossadegh and nehzat azadi.
He had a brain stroke and was in coma for months . I wanted to go see him but Iraqis were bombarding Iran. I heard in a chelokababi that they hit the hospital he was in. I could not drive back anymore and poor Tye had to drive herself to the airport.
He died on new year day of that year when all nurses were leaving the hospital and scared of the bombs but my mother would still stay with him. I heard the news in California again with my brother, right after I wore white clothes for new year . Same happened later with mother's death,with the same brother in california! My sister took care of my father in Iran too. what I don't forgive is the fact that they all decided to hide it from me until the end. I always think if I had walked in the hospital room and loudly said "salam pedar", would he wake up from coma?? God knows how many times I recited that in my head.
Pedar I love you and rest in peace.I forgive you and hope you forgive me for whenever I did not understand well and blamed you or argued with you, like the time you were telling me you cant read kafka (motaham, accused) and I would insist I can. You would say you don't have enough experience in life to understand that book and I would say you don't understand, I can get it!! Father, I never got it!!
I miss the days he was translating a story from Reader's Digest (the man whose wife would catch frog to suit his wounds) or Aghata Christi and I would help him..I miss the day he told Reza the son of our servant wake up here is kabab and he pretending to be drawned opened his eyes. He also took me and my sister to a court room where he was the bazpors(prosecutor) and this man got drunk and pushed someone and killed him. He asked him to sign his name,all the time I was playing with a thread off of his desk! He would always buy Tofigh and kouche shahr magazines. He loved Takhti and went to his funeral with millions of others. He knew Noori the singer,Mahmonir.. Sarmad the poet,Bastani Parizi,... and a lot of intellectuals and politicians, but my mother would not make a house of intellectuals for him,or let him drink.. whatever he did was bad to her eyes and to stop fighting they got divorced. I was happier that way too, they never remarried to anyone else since they had a strange type of love for each other. I hope they reconcile their differences in heaven now and a good time there. Boos and hug for pedar and madar.