Monday, February 28, 2005

check 'In Conversation With Roya'


one picture is better than 1000 words but need permission, so this sign says how long you can park on this site! or the cafe:-) translation Max. amount of resting period allowed: tea 1/2 hr,ice cream 1/2hr,breakfast 1hr...! story follows! Posted by Hello

Weeekend in SF,SJ,and SC saw my son!!

I went to SF with Gwen and had lunch with my son. O.K did you hear me ?for the second time this year I saw him!!! And its only February!!! As Claudia (shahram’s wife says ) don’t throw salt on me, in Farsi would be don’t give me an evil eye or touch wood!! Anyway him, his girl friend (Claudia) and his friend (Norm) were there. Afterwards they saw the picture Shahla sent me from Iran (a huge painting of me!! Always hangigng in mother’s room) and Babk refused to take it! Then Gwen wante to see the hippie part of town but Babk said they have to depart!! My heart sank but every visit is better than before that was just one visit per year. I hope we atleast see each other one a month to get back to normal.I only wanna say now that ah keh vosate tanhaie shahin dar zehne morghhaye khanegi nemigonjad. Meaning oh pity that the homey7 hens never understand the vastness of loneliness of an eagle.lon I also talked to Homayoon, a friend of my ex that I have not talked to for 27 years!! He brought the most beautiful azalea(purple) in Tehran when I gave birth to my son and went to school with my ex(bahman) in England. I
I am at san Antonio lake and it is so beautiful I can hardly breath. Right noe a blue bird with a long tail came and sat next to me, does she know how beautiful she is? The funny thing is that a few mintes ago I went to the other side of ths lake and there ONLY me and 2 deer! Wowo is God good or what? What have I done right to deserve sharing such beautiful moment with God or nature or whatever you believe is behind this? I like being religious at these moments and at mements of sorrow,I guess at other moments I don’t have time to think who is supreme! Well I was debating the idea of whether I should continue writing, after spending a weekend with relatives and they ALL discouraging me from writing a biography(as opposed to writing at all), I heard on TV this morning that God approves you no matter wht,like an unconditional love of a mother to a child, so here you go, I got my approval and did not have to prove a Greek root to it either! I had a good weekend, saw my son
Well I need to call couple of people get their permission and then post pictures or talks. I hate this business of getting permission to tell the truth and what happened in reality, thou liers and evil doers freely and with no permission accuse,hang or cut throat. Such a tangled web we weave around ourselves.On the way back went to Shahram house had the best BBQ and got some turnip for Claudia that was sick. I cant act anything except my age and hope did not offend them with my choice of movie. Love you guys, bear wit

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

My aunt executed by regime of IraN,my grandma exiled by regime of Iran


Dr. Farrokhrou Parsay, my aunt, first woman in Pahlavi dynasty's cabinet as Secretary of Education, her story during revolution in Iran follows,dare to hear it! She was executed by regime of mullahs in Iran and her mother was exiled asking for equal education. She was NOT a Bahai,thou its not a sin to be one anyway!. Posted by Hello

Saturday, February 19, 2005

I dare to write it, do you dare to read it?!

The following extract is translated from the Journal "Azadi" published by the Iranian National Democratic Front, Edition No.21, Spring 2000 , pages 120-137
Written by: Roya Parsay
Edited and Translated by: Sepehr Manuchehri, March 2002
This piece was originally written by Roya Parsay for the Journal "Azadi" published by the Iranian National Democratic Front in Spring 2000. The author starts by recording her recollections of the final days leading up to the execution her aunt Farrokh-Ru Parsay, the first female Minister ever to be appointed in Iran.
Born to parents with a solid intellectual and journalistic background, Farrokh-Ru pursued her education career and then became involved in modern politics. During her parliamentary career she was instrumental in drafting a number of reform bills aimed at elevating the status of women in the society. During the course of her ministry, she was credited with the establishment of over 100 new schools in Iran, training and employing an unprecedented number of women as school teachers and introducing the "free nourishment" program aimed at distributing free food to primary and secondary students across the country.
As an attachment to the main article, the author encloses biographies of Farrokh-Ru Parsay, her mother Fakhr-Afaq Parsay and her father Farrokh-Din Parsay.
Farrokh-Ru Parsay was rumoured to be an Azali Babi. She first entered the Majlis (Parliament) in 1962. In the summer of 1964 she was appointed as a Minister by then Prime Minister - Amir Abbas Hoveyda. Farrokh-Ru Parsay served in the Cabinet up until the resignation of Hoveyda in 1976.
Prior to her execution the authorities accused her of "being a Baha'i". This allegation was solidly rejected by both her and her family. This article reveals several interesting facts including:
- A close relationships between the Parsay Family and their Baha'i relatives
- Existence of personal diaries and notes that may provide more insight in to the life and achievements of Farrokh-Ru Parsay
- Records of her final interview from Prison which were later printed in Kayhan
- Extracts from her defence statement which were also printed in Kayhan
Sepehr Manuchehri
March 2002

Fakhr-Afaq Parsay
and her daughter
Farrokh-Ru Parsay

by Roya Parsay
I can recall vividly. After waking up, I sat instantly and wondered around the room to see where I was. Those days were indeed tremulous times. I had recently been separated from my husband and lived with my mother. The room was a little unfamiliar. I thought a little and remembered my dream. I had a dream about Maman-Baa'la, my grandmother Ms Fakhr-Afaq Parsay. She always lived upstairs from us so we called her Maman-Baa'la to distinguish her from our other grandmother. In the dream, she gave me a white envelope and said "I trust you with this, carry on the tradition".
Mother had just passed away and Ammih-jan1 (Ms Farrokh-Ru Parsay) was still in prison. Mum had witnessed how the Revolutionary Guards arrested Ammih-jan. Upon leaving the house, they slammed a heavy blow to her chest causing her to become ill instantly. She died a few days later at the house of Amoo-jan Farrokhzad. At the time of burial we were still bewildered. Ammih-jan and her husband (General Shirin Sokhan) were both kept in the Parliamentary Prison. I recall that my cousin actually performed the burial prayers. We were dumbfounded by the various revolutionary news and the arrest of Ammih-jan, who was the first female minister in the Royal Court. Khomeini had specifically stated that she will never be forgiven2 !
I rubbed my eyes and pondered a little.
"Why me?" I said to myself.
"As if I have no other problems, now Grand-mother has picked on me ".
My two-year old son lived with my ex-husband's relatives. I was concerned about his well being as they were Baha'is and this was an "Islamic Revolution".
Further more, I was put on trial and dismissed from work for wearing black3 and not obeying the Imam.
I constantly remembered Ammih-jan who had come to visit us in the days prior to her arrest. I informed her about the recent interrogations at work:
- Ms Farrokh-Ru Parsay?
- I am Roya Parsay. If you wish to see her, I can contact her for you
- Where is she?
- In her house.
- Anyway, why are you wearing black? Soon it will be her turn.
They referred me to another court with Ayatollah Rayshahri4 as a judge for final determination.
I appealed to Ammih-jan: "Please leave this country"
She replied: "What have I done, what have I stolen and what is their evidence?"
I said: "These people do not understand such things."
The determination court was held after the execution of Ammih-jan. Again as I entered the court room, they referred to me as Farrokh-Ru to which I objected. The Judge asked:
- Why have you ignored Imam's word?
- Because as Quran says there is no force (*in complying*) to religion5
- Yes, that is how the Baha'is put it
- What does that mean? Besides we are not Baha'is
- They utter one half of the verse and neglect the other bits. What is the rest of this verse?
- To tell you the truth, I can not recall. Because I read the English translation of the Quran by Yusuf Ali
- Very well Mrs Farrokh-Ru Parsay
- But, I am Roya Parsay
It was only here that I began to realise the full extent of each allegation against Ammih-jan. My alleged belief in Baha'ism might have falsely originated in the fact that my husband is a Baha'i. But Ammih-jan was married to a Tabatabai Sayyid and a descendant of Sadr-i Shirazi? Mum had read in the books that Mirza Masih Tehrani who had murdered Gribadov happened to be one our great grand parents.
….
Anyway I described the dream to my mother and asked her permission to visit Ammih-jan in Prison. Her daughter Mahshid lived in Abadan and used to visit her each weekend. One week in her absence, my mother payed a visit to Prison.

I recall the day when they finally succeeded in arresting her (on a previous occasion, the dumb guards actually caught Ammih-jan. She introduced herself as the sister of Ms Parsay. They did not realise and left her alone. Since that time she lived in hiding at a friend's house). On that day my mother had gone to my cousin Hamid's house. She did not return in time so I called her. Not convinced by her tone, I went to Hamid's place immediately. Parked near the gate were two cars and several guards. I entered the house and saw Ammih-jan sitting on the couch. Her son Hamid explained:
"I even managed to send her out using the back door but she promptly returned!"
In reply to the General who asked "Where are you taking the lady?"
the guards replied "Now we will arrange a warrant for you to fully understand".
It was one of the most difficult periods of my life, resisting the temptation to slap the guard. I feared making life harder for Ammih-jan. Although it was evident that things will not get any worse, we hoped that perhaps this was simply a political manoeuvre and she could be released after detention. In reality, the period of arrests were now behind us and only those who worked for SAVAK6 or ministers whose departments committed murders were to be arrested. The Veil had not yet been fully imposed and they needed victims. I asked Ammih-jan:
- Can I do anything?
- Go and see if you can find Abbas
- Is that all?
- Yes, go quickly

I looked at her face one more time and left. Why didn't I hug her? She was concerned about my safety and knew that I will speak my mind and get involved in a brawl with the guards. I left with a fury.
We went to the former house of Lily Amir Arjomand in Niavaran7. This lad (*Abbas*) was previously unemployed and now was the personal bodyguard for (*Ayatollah*) Taliqani8.
If I knew this is my last time I see her, I would never have left. Her face was so calm. She was tired of all the adventures and life on the run.
She said: "If they have arrested Hoveyda9, then they must arrest all of us who were Ministers in his cabinet. Then I can testify that (*Ayatollah*) Beheshti10 and (*Hojjat'ul Islam*) Bahonar11 were my employees. They must also be arrested as they were paid by the Department of Education and Training"
Again we did not consider the gravity of the issue because both Ammih-jan and the General were now in the Parliamentary Prison and were allowed to attend Hammam-i-Golestan on the next day …
I heard that following my Grandmother's death, one of our brave relatives had visited them in the Prison under the pretence of being the General's sister and taken black clothes for them. I heard they had been reunited in one room several times. They had separate rooms. But later in Evin (*Prison*) where the cell accommodated several others, the meetings were behind glass and through handsets.
Nevertheless I figured that since Ammih-jan was used to visiting prisons as a social worker in her youth, the environment was probably not so strange to her. She had stated in her will to donate her clothes and chador to the female prison guard. In prison a reporter from Kayhan International paid her a visit and conducted an interview which was later published.
What do you think Grandmother meant? Which tradition should I continue?
I knew that both of them had suffered persecution in fighting for women rights. But I did not know enough at the time. I was aware that my grand mother and grand father (Farrokh-Din Parsay) published the Jahan-i Zanan Magazine. Because of their association with this magazine they were threatened and finally exiled. It was there that Ammih-jan was born. At the time of exile on their way to Qum, my grandmother was expecting Farrokh-Ru .. Their crime was providing information to women and solving their day-to-day issues through the publication based in Mashhad….
Suddenly I remembered a little diary Ammih-jan gave me before her arrest and asked me to hide on her behalf. I took it out and read 2-3 pages and memorised its content. Then I contacted a friend who had a private business and asked if I could photocopy the diary … he allowed me to photocopy the diary in his office .. I completed the photocopy over two days and hid it under my carpet at home. I heard that there are several other diaries that have either been sent abroad or kept with relatives. Fortunately the first volume of her diary relating to mother (*Fakhr-Afaq Parsay*) and her life was now with me.
Without the right to have a defence Attorney, her defence statements in the ridiculous court were printed in the papers. She kept her promise, did not stay quite for fear of losing her life and spoke out against Beheshti and Bahonar. In her will, she advised everyone not to mourn her death. She asked her children to imagine she was killed in a plane crash. She wrote that she did not owe money to anyone.
In her final night visit she told her son and husband: "I have achieved my goals in life and succeeded in fighting for women's rights to the best of my ability. It is an honour not dying in a hospital bed.".
Her son asked why she was talking like this.
She replied: "The gentlemen are planning for my execution".
Her son and husband pleaded: "But we have been promised a pardon from Bani Sadr12".
She simply answered "As I said, the children are now grown and matured. I am now considered an elderly (she was 59). Give my watch and ring to Mahshid ….
Later Mahshid advised that once Ammih-jan requested a watch from her as she wanted to say prayers in Prison and did not know the time .. She always wanted my Baha'i ex-husband (son of General Sani'ee) and I to reconcile.

I wanted to tell her it was me who had married a Baha'i, why did they accuse you? It was me who sang and danced, why did they accuse you of prostitution?
I recall once at a restaurant at the wedding reception of her daughter Nahid, the band were playing. I knew she had a good voice and danced well during her youth, and asked her to dance. She said "It is not appropriate, people will talk and besides, the General does not dance!" … Little did I know that in fighting for women's rights even at that stage she had to tolerate so much hardship …
It appears that both Beheshti and Bahonar wanted her silence. Khomeini was a known critic of women's rights. Years before he had issued a fatwa from Najaf against the liberation of women after a woman was appointed to a ministerial position …
Attachment 1: Jahan-i Zanan and Fakhr-Afaq Parsay
Jahan-i Zanan (*Women's World*) magazine was initially published in Mashahd and later in Tehran. It was established in Mashhad under the name of F.A.P (Fakhr-Afaq Parasai) as the Editor in Chief. The first issue was dated 04th February 1921.
Every month two issues were printed and the contents as indicated on the front cover were "solely dedicated to the lives of women and importance of their education" .. Some of the titles in the first issue were:
§ Action and aspirations of women around the world
§ Necessity of training women
§ Raising a child
§ Famous women
§ Cooking
§ Poems
§ Information
… here is an extract from the Actions and Aspirations article in the first issue:
" .. Our virtues are chastity of the pen, tongue and body. Our aspirations are self education, belief in our superior station, necessity to follow religious obligations, living in harmony with our guardian/husband as to provide us with the basic material necessities and not be condemned to death under the severity of beatings, torture, or hanging by rope ..
We have elected to write at a time where the peoples of the earth have come to appreciate the station of woman and made her a real partner in their private lives. Women are asked to administer social affairs and have political and economic rights in accordance with the law of creation.
However in our country we feel that in complying to Islamic laws and regulations, when it comes to the education and training of women, popular opposition prevents us from writing openly and leaves us only to highlight and convey the basic importance of the issue.
In particular soon after the conception of this magazine, the environment was contaminated by such jealousy and hatred that very nearly resulted in this infant becoming aborted, leaving the mother to mourn the death of the unborn child.
Now we have the honour to courageously put forward our considered views and reflections .. we do not wish to repeat the obvious. We reiterate that our aspirations and actions are based on the Islamic religion and regulations .."

Farrokh-Din Parsay
Farrokh-Din Parsay, a veteran Iranian journalist once described his early days in these words:
" I married Fakhr-Afaq in 1913. This was at a time when Malak u'lshoara Bahar13 had just arrived in Tehran .. At this time we had two children. As the income from the newly established Akhlaq newspaper was insufficient to cover the production costs, I took up a paid position with a newspaper in Mashhad in 1916 solely to support my family. I wrote articles for the 'Chaman' newspaper, was the resident correspondent for the 'Ra'd' newspaper and established the 'Jahan-i Zanan' magazine managed by my wife.
In 1920 I accompanied the Afghan Ambassador to Tehran as the deputy host for his visit. I returned to Mashhad in two months. In 1921 I was appointed by Sayyid Zia'u'Din14 the Chief Minister to manage the publications for the Ministry of Interior in Tehran. I came to Tehran for this purpose but the assignment was foiled after a month when Sayyid Zia'u'Din tendered his resignation."
The fifth edition of Jahan-i Zanan was published in Tehran in 1921 .. this issue indicated Farrokh-Din Parsay as the owner and Fakhr-Afaq Parsay as the editor in chief. The publication of this magazine in Tehran caused a stir and many called on the owner, publisher and editor to suffer religious sanctions. Here is how Farrokh-Din Parsay described the events:
" Upon returning (*from Mashhad*) and acting on my wife's insistence who had promised to publish Jahan-i Zanan in Tehran, the first edition of the publication was printed in this city. This coincided with the general opposition to the cabinet of Qavam u'l Saltanah15. His opponents used the contents of this magazine, essentially about the education and training of women, to mobilise the merchants (*Bazar*) against the Cabinet. Eventually the Chief Minister gave in to the opposition and arranged for the banishment of my family and I from Tehran in order to appease the Bazar. We were banished to Ara'k. On our arrival at Qum, we heard whispers of Takfir against myself and my wife apparently in progress at various gatherings in Tehran. I even witnessed a protest rally in a cemetery in Qum who called the female editor of Jahan-i Zanan magazine as an enemy of the Prophet. Around the same time a number of individuals were arrested in Ara'k for allegedly being a Baha'i and having burnt the Quran. For these reasons we refrained from going to Ara'k and settled in Qum. Later I returned to the public service as a Roads Inspector for the Tehran-Ara'k highway."
After much despair for not being pardoned by the authorities, the editor of Jahan-i Zanan prepared a statement addressed to the "Subscribers of Jahan-i Zanan" published in the Iran newspaper dated December 1922:
" Dear Subscribers: In the end we were not taught freedom and eventually the freedom to write, publish and criticise was also taken away from the men. However I await that day, because quietism is a sign of little intellect. I may now pass away in waiting carrying the financial debt of subscribers with me. For this reason and having lost faith in restarting the publication, I wish to repay my debt at a time when the Magazine has suffered a loss of over 500 Toomans.
I do not have the documents relating to Jahan-i Zanan and have no means of identifying my out of pocket subscribers. Even if they are identified, forwarding small amounts ranging from 8 to 16 Qerans will encounter numerous difficulties. Therefore I request the loyal subscribers to send me their subscription receipts to the committee's address in Qom and indicate which editions .. they like to read. I can repay my debt through sending their requested editions and thereby say farewell to those loyal friends. After that I will wait for an effective general revolution which may even take me as a victim … Fakhr-Afaq Parsay"
Jahan-i Zanan was never published again. Fakhr-Afaq is the first woman to have her publication stopped. Here is how her husband describes this intellectual lady:
"My wife has a life unlike other ladies. Her education took her through upper school. From the start of our marriage she longed for freedom and reform. She regarded the Veil as a barrier to the progress of society. She was particularly skilled in educating her children and managed to raise our five children with distinction even though we were always on the road."
Attachment 2: Farrokh-Ru Parsay
Farrokh-Ru was born on 21 March 1922 in exile at Qum. She would always start her autobiography with the name of her mother. Life was particularly difficult and unbearable to a mother who became pregnant in exile. Every one knew why Fakhr-Afaq Parsay was banished to Qum.
Publication of her two articles in Jahan-i Zanan magazine had caused a revolt. In these articles she advocated the need for equal education and training for boys and girls. The mullah's quickly denounced her by using Takfir. One day Qavam u'l Saltanah, the then Prime Minister, summoned her husband Farrokh-Din and advised him to "take your wife and go to a remote location".
They hired a place outside of Qum. The family lived on a 200 Tooman pension paid by the Government. On the first day of Nawruz 1921, when the new year had barely began, Farrokh-Ru came in to this world. She was the second daughter born to the exiled mother. Farrokh-Zaman her eldest one was eight years old at the time and later died at eighteen.
.. Their children were: Farrokh-Din, Farvardin, Farrokh-Zad, Farrokh-Ru, Farrokh-pour. They longed for their daughters to become educated. In reality they were unable to find a school in Qum even for their boys. Farrokh-Ru was barely one when they returned to Tehran .. her first day at school was 1927 in a school known as "Sharq" … Farrokh-Ru was in her sixth grade when her father was asked by the Department of Roads to serve in Mashhad. She completed her middle school in the "Foruq" school in Mashhad. There the girls wore the Chador to school, something Farrokh-Ru was careful to avoid. They returned to Tehran after three years.
Farrokh-Ru was one of the early graduates attending the Teacher Training College. She continued her post graduate studies in the same college. In 1942 she was employed as a high school teacher in "Noorbakhsh" High School. She taught biology to the students in year seven. In 1944 she married a young Army Officer. His sister had four years earlier married her elder brother. His family were close neighbours for close to fifteen years. Soon after their marriage, Officer Shirin Sokhan was appointed as the Chief of the Kazeroon brigade16 and immediately left for duty. The couple were separated for three years during which Farrokh-Ru studied at the College of Medicine.
In 1948 at the time she was still a student, her first child was born. Hamid was only four months old when she became pregnant with Nahid. She had two infants at the time of doing her thesis. In 1950 she became the biology teacher in 'Jandark' High School where she stayed on until 1956 .. This is how she recalls the events:
"When I wanted to become the School Principal, I said to my husband: I will not be in the house for many hours in a day. Do you approve? He accepted and advised: I am confident that you are aware of your responsibilities in the home just as you manage your responsibilities outside of the home."
After completion of her daily work in the High School, she would visit women prisoners in various jails and educate them in her capacity as a Social Worker.
At this time she gave birth to two other daughters Mahshid and Navid.
For one year she was the Principal of the "Valli u'llah Nasr" High School. In 1957 she was appointed to head the 'Noorbaksh' High School whose name was later changed to 'Reza Shah Kabir'. At that time the school had about 110 female students. When Farrokh-Ru retired from education and joined the Majlis she farewelled 1850 female students. Here is how she described it:
"Heading an all girl's school is more onerous than being a Minister ! Sometimes a School Principal is confronted with specific problems whose solution requires the intellect of ten Ministers. For example from my 1000 female students in the Highschool, perhaps 70-80 displayed abnormal behaviours. At the time I was trying to figure out the reasons for this. I made up questionnaires and ordered the teachers to complete them during the course of the year. In these questionnaires the teachers were asked to document the mental state of each girl. I witnessed how family problems resulted in the discontent and rebellion amongst the girls. It was common for people to view Noorbaksh High School as a school for the wealthy and the well off. Reality struck me at once when I observed that one of my students is becoming weaker day by day. One day close to lunch time she fainted. I discovered that she had not eaten well for three days, her parents had divorced years ago, her mother supported the family with a daily 3 Tooman income from sewing but had elected to send her daughter to the best school in Tehran." 17

Farrokh-Ru joined the Mehregan Club which was a defacto union for the teachers soon after its establishment in 1951. Just like her mother she wanted to assist in building a better life for women and achieve equality with men. She desired for all women to further their place in society and use their expertise in all areas. She was a feminist dedicated to achieving equality for women through the political system. For this reason prior to the infamous referendum in February 1962, she would organise rallies for women to campaign for their right to vote. In April 1962 she joined Kanun-i Tarraqi (*Association for Progress*) established by Hasan Ali Mansour. When this association became a political party, she became one of its first female delegates to the 21st Majlis. She was appointed to the Parliamentary Committees for Budget, Culture and Family. She campaigned for reforms to the laws governing family life that lead to the passing of the "Family Support" bill.
Following the murder of Hasan Ali Mansour, she was appointed as the Minister for Education and Training by the new Prime Minister Amir Abbas Hoveyda. Thereby becoming the first woman to become a Minister in Iran.
As a Minister, she appointed educated women to positions previously occupied by men. She was instrumental in establishing the cultural centre of southern Tehran with more than 5000 male and female students under the management of Ms Najmi Vusuqi. Her other priority was the distribution of free food18 in state schools that in practice encountered real obstacles by way of corruption, lack of an effective distribution system and little coordination between various government departments.
Farrokh-Ru assisted in writing a book entitled "Woman in Ancient Iran" with Homa Ahi and Malakeh Taliqani.
She was convicted to death without due process in a court room in April 1980. Just before her execution, they wrapped her in a thick bag and then sprayed her with bullets.
Notes:
1. Meaning Dear Aunty, a popular expression amongst some Iranian families when addressing their close relatives.
2. Reference to his Fatwa from Najaf dated summer 1962 soon after the appointment was made
3. The former Prime Minister of the Shah, the later Shahpour Bakhtyar was now resident in Paris. He ran an opposition campaign from exile oust the new regime. He had instructed that people wear black in public as a sign of protest against the gradual removal of their basic human rights. As a result the new regime were cracking down on men and women who wore black in the public.
4. One of the influential clerics in the justice and prison systems
5. La' Ikrah'a fi-ldin
6. Known as the secret service during the time of the Shah
7. A prestigious suburb in the North of Tehran. Arjomand's lavish residence had now been confiscated and used by the new leaders
8. An influential member of the New Revolutionary Council at the time
9. Amir Abbas Hoveyda, Prime Minister 1964-1977. Refer to "Khatirat-i Hoveyda" by Dr Abbas Milani
10. Another influential member of the Revolutionary Council, he went on to head the Islamic Republic political party
11. An influential figure at the time who now headed the Ministry for Education and Training. He went on to become the Prime Minister for a short time
12. Abol-Hasan Bani Sadr was the elected President at this time
13. Bahar is a well known Iranian poet, author and literally figure with many books and articles to his name
14. Chief Minister prior to Reza Shah Pahlavi
15. A professional politician who assumed the Prime Ministership several times during the Pahlavi reign
16. A town in the south western province of Khuzestan
17. Interview with M.Peernia printed in Zan-i Ruz Magazine 1976
18. Known as "Taqzieh Rayegan" or free nourishment

Friday, February 18, 2005

Shahram,Claudia,Kyana,Tanya in big bear


Shahram,my cousin, Claudia his wife,Kyana and Tanya their kids. Thanks for letting me stay in your house for 2 months! man dige nemitoonam.... Posted by Hello

I meant to post shahram,claudia and the kids picture in big bear here, but only this part of his email got posted.Anyway hope same thing happens in Tehran now and this time free Iran from cousin of Hiltler called Khamenei! Guten luck! Posted by Hello

I am Romantic,but this is a story!

2/18/05 Hello, its true thatI am very emotional and romantic,but I am writtng a book and have to make it interesting and romantic, so unles you dont see an astual picture,do not believe it and relax,thou I rarely lie! Go figure but whatever makes you comfortable, believe that much. Now explaining the picture ,it is a part at lafayette Indiana, and I met my ex for the second time there. Majid sitting with checkered pants introduced me to him. He came to the part with the live-in American girl friend called Kerry,very educated and all , and fell in love with me. I can tell now that I knew much less than Bahman did,he was intelectualy above me,but maybe I had a pretty face and some brain who knows what makes love happen? Well I was young,virgin and outspoken (like now!) and had some suitors. I had a crush on Ghassem the guy sitting next to me and roommate of Majid! Actually he is the first guy I ever kissed in my life,2nd year of university. Now 2nd year of school and not high schoolpeople have their first kiss. I dont know if he ever believed me when I told him since I do joke around and look more out going that I really was. Anyway,bahman knew about this and still came forward. If you want to picture him, he is always laughing loud. He reads a lot, went to school in England and well mannered. I liked him a lot but could not fall in love with him,since he never planned our life together as OURS , we had to share it with his family,they were Bahais and never accepted me as a Muslim. So, after my sons birth I felt the Nanny is allowed to be more of a mother to him thanme, also they planned to migrate to canada and did not include me in that plan. I started driffting away frommarriage and agreed to a divorce . Revolution was happening at the same time and back in my mind was the fact that my son willbe safer outside Iran being a Bahai and revolution being SO CALLED ISlamic. The truth is this government is not iranina an dnot muslim but took us a while to come to that conclusion. He left for england after our divorce then switzerland and canada. I felt so bad without my son that I could not go near a school area,a birthday party ....
o.k cant go more than this today,maybe later. So now I introduce others in that picture. Marmar is sitting next to me she was studying economics at purdue, Susan next to her must be in Iran now. majid got married to a sweet Iranian girl and started his business in Iran, went to Canada and moved to Maryland last year. And Ghassem, became part of Iranian Students Confederation, was head of chicago branch of it. During revolution I talked to him once, but days after I heard he died in a battle outside Tehran . I think he was married and had a kid then. I should ask Majid about the rest of the story. I also know REZA AND JALEH FROM THOSE DAYS. i LIKE TO FIND pUDUE GRADUATES AND THEIR FAMILY. WE SHARED A UNIQUE LIFE THERE. MY COUSIN HAMID WAS THERE , HE DIED SOME YEARS AGO OF A HEAT ATTACK,GOD BLESS HIS SOUL.I willwrite that later. If I go for a trip I will post an article about our family which will take you to read for 3 days or maybe give a pause for coupe of days/?

Thursday, February 17, 2005

A picture with a story behind it!


I am posting this to remember to talk about it tomorrow.2nd year of school I am 2nd from left . Bahman is not in the picture but is in this room. Ghassem the guy next to me is dead now, happened during revolution in Iran . Majid introduced me to both Bahman & ghassem , far right guy who is a milionaire now unlike rest of Purdue grads!:-). Posted by Hello

2/17/Sepideh is pregnant! Negroponte appointed?

2/17/05 SH…..SEPIDEH IS PREGNANT! I COULD NOT SCAN THE PICTURE OF 8 WEEK old BABY! But I assure you its cute!! Well good news are rare these days, but sepideh,my sister’s daughter (Niece) is pregnant AT LAST!! Congratulations to Navid her husband and Sepideh khanoom who was so small in my arms sleeping and now a lady having a baby!
2/18/05 It is impossible not to love anybody at any given time. One is always in love whether actively or back in his mind. I do believe that one falls in love for several times in his/her life. I don’t think who you loved at 19 is the same love as who you love at 50. as you change your love’s characteristic changes. I called a friend and asked him whether I could tell his story, he said tell the story as I was in the rain and he came forward with an umbrella and since then we are singing in the rain!:-). When you don’t take life serious, that’s how you describe it or ashamed or indifferent. Go figure what I just said,its called scattered thoughts till you are brave enough to tell the real story. O.K the truth is that he looks and talks like my father,we laugh forever and that is enough for me, I very rarely see him, every 2 years! And know I can kiss him whenever I want to and I can talk to him whenever we catch a time,once a month or more?. So that is enough for me specially now. I can even tell him who I love and why and how and he knows that I always love him more than others, except for my son. HE IS JEWISH, I AM MUSLIM! My first husband was BAHAI and I was a Muslim and not accepted by their family, then last marrigae I never figured what they were,maybe muslim but accused me of being a BAHAI! go figure . I guess I should settle with a CHRISTIAN or BUDDIST in the end!! I like acceptimg that I am a sinner and asking Jesus to save me!!
George Bush ,God bless him, appointed a new man for intelligence. Him and Rumsfeld will decide about Iran, his name is Negroponte? Comes from the Greek word “down with regime of Iran” I hope!! There you go!!
I just went to the Dr, and Amazing we all prayed and I love it that he is working on the soul more than body. I am experiencing a new atmosphere and learning too. I think I like this town.

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Babak my son in Tehran


Babak my son in Tehran at 1.5 years with her cousin Negar and his philipino nanny ,Litta, in front of Elahieh house now confiscated by Khamene , & regime of Mullahs. This picture is 24 years old! Now I will post Sepideh's baby's picture soon! Posted by Hello

2/15-2/16 WENT TO LA WITH BIRD, IRAN UNDER ATTACK?

2/15/05-2/16/05 Went to LA yesterday to give the bird to my daee (uncle),it was a long ride but on the road I heard this Persian program and even went on the line and read a poem from tahereh ghoratolain for valentine’s day, if I see you face to face, I will tell you about my sorrow line by line,of course line by line rhymes with face to face in farsi. She was buried in layers of walls for reciting this poem and also for not wearing a veil while teaching!! GODDDDDDDDD. Other poem I read was from molavi if you have wisdom put step in the way (OF LOVE & WAR) and then from eagerness you put your life in this way. Last verse of what I posted and my brother sings. Then went to his daughter’s Shrareh and saw his wife pooran joon, and daughter Sheila. It was fun. i ASKED BOTH TO TELL ME ABOUT THEIR PARENTS,WILL POST IT AFTER CAREFUL THOUGHTS THOU THEY PERMIT ME. Day after we came back and found the bird sitting on the floor of the cage, had to change the position of the bar to have the stupid bird jump on the bar!!
Then on the way back I heard that some explosion happened in Deylam of Iran. Some said planes were hit,close to nuclear development and all.. I don’t know what really happened butI know Mullahs ruling Iran are willing to destroy all mosques, buildings, people just to stay in power. We hope they are overthrown and we can freely go back with NO FORCED VEIL on our heads. Well the name daylam remind me of Deylami , a driver my ex-husband’s father had (Late General Sanii, Secretary of defence during the Shah’s regime) This driver came with us when my first husband and I went for our honeymoon to seaside of Iran. On the second day I was puzzled,hurt and all over the fact that being a virgin all that time, and him not being a virgin (he lived with Kerry an American girl for 5 years), also in one night I learned a lot about a man and a woman’s relation, so I ran to the seaside for a walk and crying a bit. I heard foot steps behind me and it was Mr. Daylami! I said please go back crying and surprised. He said (While shaking his head like Indians do when they talk, with his big rashti nose) Its o.k Mrs. Roya!! I said please go back and I was crying at this time and he said no General has asked me to take care of you!! I did not know whether I should cry or laugh! I continued walkimga crying feeling stupid hearing his footsteps behind me. I THOUGHT POOR Queen Farah of Iran , maybe she cant have a private walk to herself and a good cry whenever she feels like it! I DID NOT LIKE Mr. Daylami then, and I don’t like this Daylam port event of IRAN that happened today. Something is wrong and fishy. God protect us from this evil terrorist regime of Mullahs!

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Real Valentine's day!2/14/05

2/14/05 Went to this Dr. He said my eyes gor allergy and then he prayed for me and gave me a bible! Is that what I really needed. Could be, God is my husband is what they say. Then went Shahram my cousin's house and saw Shahryayr aanother cousin from Italy and Claudia and the kids. I said you guys can't have a quite Valentine's dinner cause we are jealous! Kidding. We had a nice talk and dinner. Then the MIRACLE happened and Babak, my son, called!!! VOW that made my day. I love God for that! :-)

Monday, February 14, 2005


Rumi(Molavi) poems.song my brother(Farhad) used to sing! Posted by Hello

2/13/05 Sunday my valentine’s day!

2/13/05 Sunday my valentine’s day!
How funny I asked God to give me signs on today ,my Valentine’s day about my emotional side of my life (remember I already asked him about writing and got a message fro Moses and the written tablets!) Now I woke up and gave breakfast to Isabelle and Martin and then Martin went to play with his computer game or QQ bang bang stuff per Googoosh! Then he said I like this game and I looked at it and it was th Incredible, The pixar movie that my son helped being made; then I looked at Martin and remembered that when yesterday I took him for a baseball game and dropped him there, my heart sank. You see I NEVER did those things for my son. He was separated from me when he was 2. For a long time I could not go to any kids birthday and if I did I would go back home crying the whole night. So I said first sign, valentine’s day is spent by Martin for the morning part resembling my son! Who thought that a Mexican boy in California will play my son’s role ? O.K then at noon the father came and got them and I thought ha last year he left his wife for another woman and this year the wife ,being divorced , is away with her lover/friend on valentine’s day and the father is spending it with the kids! God has his ways, it reminds me of the day that the Judge set Valentines day as the next day to meet me and my ex-husband and he winked. Like telling my ex-husband that you are going to spend your next valentine's day in court and not in a remote place with a lover. O.K I think I am making a big issue out of valentines day and maybe I should find a friend soon, thou I am not ready at all. Then Mani called from Virginia with mahin banoo, his mother, my grand ma’s aunt!! Go figure I don’t feel like explaining that yet, one day we get to that, and Afsaneh his wife and my favorite kid Aria. I said the first men calling me or talking to me are relatives and kids. Then Shahram called on his way to home depo with shahryar my cousin from Italianooo. I believe Italy can celebrate Valentine;s day the best next to France,just guessing. Then talked to Sharareh and pooran joon, my uncle’s wife and they were happy that Daee is happy for getting a bird! Pooran joon always encourages me to write and now asks me to translate these diaries. I may. Then mondana called from Virginia. Mondona’s mother is the sister of my mother friend, parivin jah! One of those women who would come to our house and chat with mother or play games. She is coming to san Diego next week. Then Tye called my friend from Indiana ,Earlham college time, when I was 18 ! She is coming to LA next week too!!
Pleawe leave me comments and tell me what sign was God sending me?
I want to attach this poem for valentine’s day that my brother put together and used to sing with is guitar. I feel the way he did when he was singing this!

Sunday, February 13, 2005

A Valentine's poem from Rumi

http://photos1.blogger.com/img/78/3400/640/molavipoem.jpg
A better one is coming tommorrow that my brother Farhad sings and put together. Don't you wish you knew Farsi?

Saturday, February 12, 2005

George Bush we love you,ye ye ye....

2/12/05 I went to SLO to take my cbest test, second part. I did not pass writing part last time ha ha ha! I explained about this weblog and I do get a lot of comments from my friends telling me that such a good writer I am but maybe they didn’t know that English is my second language. Then I went to Bismo beach and I should of taken my camera with me, more than 25 people were surfing in the ocean and it is February, get it?
All the pigeons came to my table and ate some bread on my table, 20 or more of them, was getting scary in the end.(I went next to the ocean and had clam chowder soup). Well I LOVE GEORGE BUSH FOR HEARING THE IRANIANS AND HATING THIS BRUTAL REGIME OF MULLAHS IN IRAN. Sorry I had to shout that since I don’t hear anyone else hearing us crying WE DON’T WANT ANY FORCED HIJAB GET IT?
I heard there is a place with millions of butterflies in that beach but could not find it. Came back home and Isabelle and Martin came home with their aunt, we all went to a pet shop and I bought a cockatiel bird for my uncle that he asked for. ( He is paying for it I just found it for him, but he was so happy that I wish I could take the train and go to him myself but my cousin would do that) Right now the bird is going all over the cage .
I just checked out the movie NOTEBOOK from the video store and will watch it with Laura, I heard it’s a very romantic movie. Here goes my valentine weekend! ;-(

Friday, February 11, 2005


whatever! Posted by Hello

day after snow in Tehran,taken by Shirin yesterday in Tehram2/10/06 Posted by Hello

Thursday, February 10, 2005

2/9/05-2/10/05 close to valentine's day!!

2/9-10/05 There is a Greek word bio meaning life and a Greek word graphy meaning writing, so I am doing my life writing ,here you go (per big fat Greek wedding) and there is a word auto that in Greek means self and graph is writing so self writing is what you ask famous people to give you, there you go.!!:-)
My life has these sections
-early childhood ,operation at 6 months, Abadan Iran 1year
-school,highschool Tehran Iran 12 years
- college Indiana 4 years
-Marriage life have a son Tehran 4 years
-after divorce life ,Revolution, Aunt's firing squad, under war with Iraq, Tehran Iran 1 year
-after revolution life Switzerland 2 years
-after that Virginia, wondering like a zambi without my son, Paris trip to see Maryam , Father's stroke and death,Son’s graduation, trip to Tehran to see Grandma for the last time, my Masters, Mother’s cancer and death, so-called marriage ,nasty divorce 20 years
- Drive 3000 miles to California with Dick Holmberg, some months now!
O.K don’t be naïve and think that’s it a LOT happened in between . You Know I CAN NOT TELL EVEYTHING,A LOT OF OTHERS ARE ENVOLVED. I TELL AS MUCH AS I CAN. I DO WRITE LETTERS TO THIS NEWSPAPER AND THAT,I CALL THIS RADIO AND THAT IRANIANS OR AMERICANS, I HAVE AN AGENDA AND THAT DRIVE IN ME IS SO STRONG THAT CANT HELP IT.
O.K today I went to Santa Maria for an interview and again was over-qualified! Kids to 9 years were too specific and skillful to teach and I only had university degree not kindergarten degree! Now watch this picture and I explain it later .There is a lot going around this picture like my son’s father, my first husband is in front of me with his American girl friend of 5 years! Monday is valentines day and I am depressed ,I explain that later. Enjoy yours while you can and your heart still has desire, Camille at 57 being Valentine of a Prince, an adulterer one , is good news for us getting old!!
http://photos1.blogger.com/img/78/3400/640/majidghassem.1.jpg

snow in tehran yesterday sent by Sirin editted privacy! Thanks for sending this ,I share it with all!  Posted by Hello

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Before I really start writing!

2/8/05
Today I just write scattered thoughts . Babak , my son called and said he glanced at this weblog and it was o.k excep for Michael Jackson part!as always was glad to talk to him and cant wait to see him. I amgoing to create a tree for my life's different stages. Fun is gonns start then! Tomorrow I will paste an important event I witnessed in my life. That way I introduce my grandparents from my father’s side and also my aunt.
I just wonder can Mrs. RICE, that I admire a lot, go to Iran without having a Veil ? That , I call bringing freedom to the area if I see her in Iran with no Hijab.
Now I went to Santa Maria and went to a pet shop looking for a pet for my uncle. Also I think living in California you need to have one to let you know ahead of time if an earthquake is happening . I remember years ago my uncle Hooshang came to our house in Tehran and was screaming that their lovebirds were crying loud minutes before this earthquake. At that time my grand ma from my father’s side was sleeping on a wooden bed next to me and was yelling at me "Roya stop shaking my bed! " I saw the water in the small pool in the middle of yard all came out and went back into the pool in a matter of seconds.
O.k I saw small roosters in the pet shop and remembered that we had them with hens in our yard in shemiran and we would go to this dark room and touch around to feel a warm object and that was the egg just laid by one of our hens. I looked around and then went to the market in the street and bought this fruit that looks like DARABI and is a fruit like large grapefruit and some gerdoo(walnut) and would eat all of them in the memory of Iran. We bite into any fruit and remember how it tasted in Iran, way more delicious than here.
In the traffic school there was a sign saying “BRAIN ADJUSTS TO WHAT MAKES SENSE” MAYBE THAT is WHY SO MANY WOMEN ABUSERS GET BY.
I had a talk with Abdi my cousin and he said we are connected to god with a rope(risman) and if its cut we wonder like a kite (badbadak) going astray(kale kone!0 Well how true, I am reliogious and cant help it. I like praying muslim way cause its meditation and exercise and praying at the same time, fighting laziness and no getting prejudice is teh biggest challenge. I do like a glass of wine occacionaly and remeber mother said best habit is to have no habit!!!
I remembered when my first husband had a Porsche and I would refuse to wear a seatbelt and he drove all the way from chaloos to Tehran in a fast speed . Me not having a seatbelt on , woke up in Tehran and was nauseous immediately. Now I have to wear it thou I resisted for 26 years.
Enough of thoughts except for the fact that Animals of Bible is a book I just saw and remember what are the animals of Quran? Every surah is named after an animal in Quran and it starts with baghare or cow then goes to ankaboot or spider as for internet,then fil or elephant as having ears like satellite,then zanboor or bee and honey… There must be a Nostrodamus connection between these animals and their meanings!
here is a picture of my 2nd year in college. I explain this further. I am 2nd from left.click on the address:
http://photos1.blogger.com/img/78/3400/640/majidghassem.1.jpg

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Plea

Please , whoever is reading these lines,write an email to president president@whitehouse.gov and ask him to free Iran fom the Terrorist regime of Mullahs. I have not seen my mother's grave and would like to go there ,but I will be forced to wear a veil as soon as I get out of the plane,also don't feel safe after what I am posting here. I was forced to leave after revolution (1981) but I miss seeing my relatives and my grand-mother and mother's grave.
Thanks.

A Muslim trying to learn teachings of Jesus


Roya,Neil,Deb w/5,5R! Posted by Hello
Deb only knows what 5,5R means!

Snow in Tehran

2/8/05 This is what Shirin my cousin,my mother's brother's daughter from Iran wrote.
Dear Roya hi
We have a huge snow here in tehran ,it is wonderful ,the news tell us that it never snowed in Tehran during the last 100 years!!! it is almost one meter something like Boston!!!.everyone is stuck in the houses,but it is beautiful , i wish you could be here to write about it. boos booss Javoone
O.K Shirin you said it better than I could, now go and make a snowman! I also insert a Michael jackon article just for you. I will write more after my cbest test,I need my arms for that test!!boos boos!
Mjaddress
http://photos1.blogger.com/img/78/3400/640/MJarticle.jpg

Shirin asked what happened at Michael Jackson. they gave me this paper. All youngsters are gonna wear arm band to show thei support for Michael! Posted by Hello

Monday, February 07, 2005

my life 2/7/05

2/7/05 went for my taxes and felt awful after showing 12 w2 forms the income was pathetic! Had to do it. Then wrote applications for this college and that here is one letter I wrote to them after being corrected and all.
Dear Sir,

My name is Roya Parsay and I am a part-time member of the faculty at Allan Hancock College as a Computer Lab Assistant. I practiced realty in Virginia where I was employed by Coldwell Banker in Reston, Virginia. I moved to California in December of 2004.

I have been an Ad-junct at both Northern Virginia Community College and Southeastern University in Washington DC, teaching computer-related courses at both campuses.

As you can see from my background, I love teaching and I have also taught Farsi Language in Diplomatic Language Services in Maryland. I have hands on experience in the field of Realty and can teach the students from the expertise I have gained. I have taken many academic courses in this field and can use this classroom knowledge in educating students.

As you know, Realty and Computers are becoming more and more integrated and one needs knowledge of both to be successful in that business. I have experience in both and believe that I am a good candidate for this position.

I am looking forward to the opportunity of sharing my experiences with you and the students.

Sincerely,

Roya Parsay
That’s all for today except that the news is getting heavier and more serious about Iran and I hope some leaders of the world get together and free Iran from these Mullahs and women from wearing a veil by force.

Sunday, February 06, 2005

rest of 2/6/05

2/6/05 Some thoughts after I returned from the church and hearing about washing Jesus feet, Muslims wash their feet 5 times a day to pray and Muhammad was the cause for millions of muslims to know about Jesus.
My idea about gain and loss in life has changed and I don’t value some stuff that I used to value. So although finding a job is still my priority but freedom of Iranian people or understanding life’s philosophy is yet other priorities in my mind.
We now looked at Finding Nemo and froze the screen on the part my son’s name was displayed. Martin is excited sine he got an signature from my son and I took a picture of the screen. I asked Laura if I am crazy doing that and she said "this is called motherhood". I love it when things are put simply in a sentence. I did not have to explain myslef to her by the fact that I was separated from my son since he was 2 and due to the revolution after 26 years this is the first time we live in the same state, after living in different countries(he left Iran at 2 years after our divorce to England,then he moved to switzeland,then to Canada and then NY and California, I moved from Iran to Switzerland then Virginia and now to California).
I just returned from shahram’s BBQ party and watched super bowl ,it was nice .His boss,John, was there and he knew Dean who is Tye’s son. He was interesting and another friend of his, Kevin, was there and Mina and 2 girfriends and ofcourse Claudia. I wanted to talk to her asking her why we were more friendly before but as usual there was no time. I am thankful to shahram and Claudia for helping me when I first moved to this area,they let me stay in their house for almost 2 months. Shahram is the son of my mother’s brother and Claudia is his wife from Mexico . She is funny but alwayd busy!! which remnds me gotto go!!:-)

My life 2/6/05

2/6/05
I went to traffic school yesterday, what I learned was that color blinds don’t see green and red! Colors you need to see while driving and also the fact that MEN are color blind thou the mothers are the carrier of the cause! Also I learned that it does not make sense to ask some workers to always stand on their feet and we may have to write to the president to ask him to change that law and it is abuse of workers when are asked to stand on their feet the wholeday when the job can be done while sitting down(this came at a discussion with another student while waiting at a corner counting number of drivers that did not wear a seat belt or stopped at the yellow line for pedestrians.
Today I went to church and was asking God whether I should continue doing this diaries online or not. You see my brother thinks it is making me very vulnerable to put my life on internet. I think then who can write their biography if they are afraid of their privacy being exposed. Also I thought maybe I should change some names or relationships to friends as opposed to real relations whenever there is a possibility that their privacy is invaded. I do admire Suzanne summers talking about her alcoholic father thou her family were against exposing their private secrets!! Well here is what I heard in the church:
“ Exodus24:12 “Come up to me on the mountain and wait there, and I will give you the tablets of stone, with the law and commandment , which I have Written FOR THEIR INSTRUCTION. O.k I got a message about writing and I guess I pursue my goal. It seems like even God like writing and he encourages us to do what he likes!!I had a talk with the church people and the priest. I was asked why as a Muslim I go to church and I said I want you to know that these Mullahs in Iran put wrong images of Islam in your mind. We do go around with no veils, we believe in virgin Mary ,Jesus,Moses and all / We just don’t have their teachings laid out for us in QURAN and we need to learn that by attending churches and synagogues. I want to think about our similarities rather than of our difference.



Saturday, February 05, 2005

my life on 2/4/05

Here are the w2 forms for my last year. Are you ready TOOOO Many ODD JOBS. I will list them and then maybe you agree that I do need a pause. This is beside the fact that I was coming from a nasty, strange divorce. My jobs last year per w2 forms in my hands, mailed to me from Virginia are:
-diplomatic languages where I taught Farsi for 2 months last summer
- Access where I was a networking telephone operator!
-hss where I was a teacher for a month private teaching
- Autozone, where I was a driver/salesperson both in Virginia and California!
--tempro marketing where I would give food samples to customers in supermarkets!
-nrd mid atlantic corp I guess for realtor rent job
- church of the apostles for baby sitting in the church
-o.k I have an MBA and a degree in computer sciences but I could not land a job in my field . My sister kept sending emails that you should work we all do and lectures and lectures. O.k here is all the work I did in just one year,don’t forget I had to learn each one in my age. I was a bank teller the year before and passed school of realtors. I am doing my best and now I deserve to go to the ocean and take my time,I deserve to enjoy the scenery here with small trees and the fact that there is NOBODY in the highway with you ,you can stop at the middle of the road and take your picture. I want to cry people where are you? What can you be busy with which is more important than this? I hope my next year’s w2 form is from one or 2 jobs and million dollars to report!! I want to hang my hat and pause. Let others figure it out I helped my share. I was always more concerned about any issue than the most concerned. I was discussing this fact with my causin Mahshid and she said you are loosing your life and others are gaining it,stop being so concerned about others. I need to work on that thou I draw most pleasure when I think I am helping, remember I said when I THINK I am helping,as in this process I got hurt so much and so many times. May God help us all,J



Friday, February 04, 2005


me on my first drivers license in Iran Posted by Hello

my life 2/3/05

2/3/05 Today Isabelle is sick and is staying home,who is Isabelle! Well since I moved to this new town (drove from Virginia to California with penSkee? and my car attached to the end, with thehelp of Dick Holmberg my ex-co-worker) I rented this room in a big house from a friend of Claudia (Shahram’s wife){who are they? Will get to it when I explain my trip to here sometime} anyway at this house I live with Maria the mother ,Martin the son and Isabelle the cute 3.5 year old. Also Greg her boyfriend visits us and helps me a lot with my computer set up. Anyway maria’s husband left her for another woman who “makes him feel good” thou facewise,bodywise and intelligencewise she is below maria!! Go figure men. Today I called a lot of places, one was a bite from one of the 100 resumes I sent ! Somebody called and I returned his call and then he figured that since I am not bilingual I can’t have the job! I said but I speak Farsi,English and French that is not bi or trilingual? no he said we mean Spanish!! O that ! you call THAT bilingual here!! I asked Martin to teach me Spanish and he tried but first time I tried to say good night or buenis noches or something like that I was saying naches or nachos and it meant good butt! See I don’t know how to write Spanish yet but see me next year I will be talking! Maria’s sister is here with her daughter from a boyfriend that thinks dating means make her pregnant and go,too common among blacks and Spanish. No offence but when I was working in a telecommunication office in DC (one of the ten odd jobs I was forced to do to make the ends meets, while holding an MBA!) all my coworkers were black and almost all had illegitimate children,. In Hispanic culture these babies are considered miracle, in black culture it means money from government and free coupons. ANYWAY had an email from my son advising me that I should create a weblog and here it is created!! This is UNEDITTED and full of typo and grammer errors until is published as a book. I have to go to college and teach this evening or assist in the lab, this job is sooo part time I have to start my own business, any ideas??
Well I just returned from the campus and had couple of weird students and couple of diligent ones. From creating web pages to keyboard typing classes. I met the guy in charge of the computer and emails of both campuses of Santa maria and Lompoc. He was Italian and I said I should get you together with Shahriar my cousin who is coming from Italy this weekend. He is going to stay with Daee my uncle for a while. Daee reminds me of my deceased mother and grandmother so much. I miss her she is a story by herself. Actually now that I am sitting here with Isabele and Martin(who is my little Babak and is 11 and very smart) it reminds me of the times that my mother were at school studying n;utrition in a girls university and we would wait for her in the alley with a lady called ?? daughter of my father’s aunt ammeh khanom with blue eyes and she would tell us stories about how soon mother would return elesono weleson… and now these children’s mother is away and I can feel them . Their father is away and ours was too. You have no choice but to have all your eggs in a basket in that situation. Now that I remember her ,?//, I heard her two sons arjang and orang were found dead on a bench in a park in Tehran of overdose. This brutal regime of Iran killed so many youngsters in the war and so many of them with drugs and neglect. O.k I also colored my hair today and listened to radio program on internet,this farsi program. I now want to insert this poem about a mother. http://photos1.blogger.com/img/78/3400/640/sheremadar.1.jpg


Thursday, February 03, 2005

My daily life

2/2/05 Today, Tuesday, I went to Santa Maria to the court room that Michael Jackson is on trial. Nobody was there today unlike yesterday. Found out that all Jury selection was done yesterday and it resumes on Monday! Drove to Los olives and on the way stopped at los Alamos where restaurants have a place for horses to be parked being an old town. Then I went to st mike’s Episcopal church to apply for a job and suggest being a speaker as a Muslim trying to learn Jesus teaching. Then went to Michael’s ranch and people from spain,Mexico,Britain, France were there and from Canada. Also got a paper being published in Holland and a film maker from England were there. I left a note there for him to let me visit his ranch. Then left for Cachuma lake and found it 11 miles down the road. Was beautiful, found out that can get a fishing license for 33 for a year. I got that and boats were 90 for half a day or15 for 2hrs tour. I saw gharghavol,heroin and beautiful birds. On the way back I saw bunch of deer and ghasals drinking water off of 246/153 . Then on the way back stopped at casino played slot machines for 2 dollars, won 11 AND LOST IT AGAIN! I DECIDED TO START A DAILY LOG AS OF TODAY AND TURN IT INTO A BOOK LATER. MAY EMAIL IT TO BABAK SINCE I WANT TO AND TO SHAHRAM WHO IS THE ONLY ONE WHO IS ASKING ME DAILY WHAT I DID. I AM GOING TO FINISH AN APPLICATION FOR A COMPUTER INSTRUCTOR IN ALLAN HANCOCK COLLEGE.
For those of you who read these lines and know me it makes a difference but the rest who reads these on internet or as a book it will take a while to know me and understand where I come from. I was thinking to myself why on earth I am doing what I am doing now, I came to the conclusion that God is giving me some time off so that I can sort out my life, digest whatever happened to me till now and come to a conclusion, closure or absorb the experience and then go on.
I am now parked in front of the ocean in an angle so that I can see the sunset ,no ABSORB the sunset. I am at surf station in California,in city of Lompoc. How I got here from Tehran,Iran and then Genevea Switzerland is a story unfolding throughout these daily log. I talk about me as I see fit. Today I want to talk about the sunset.
When I first read the book ”Pilgrim at Tinker Creek” by Annie Dillard I told myself I want to see the sunset the way she did. Yesterday I stayed next to the ocean in an area 5 minutes from here for 2.5 hours and taped the sunset. I wanted to get to purple colors in the end and also the part that all colors are sucked in to the ocean with the sun itself. I taped it all with the birds flying ,colors changing and waves moving. I felt good and free . After all I remembered 2 years ago when I asked him(the l ex) to pause cause I wanted to see the sunset either in Solomons Island, Maryland or in Nags Head, North Carolina And he refused, now God gave me the whole ocean and its surroundings to take my time and have an Annie Dillard moment . I wish you were all here to enjoy it with me. I guess the reason I HAVEN’T LAND a full time job yet is because I NEED TO GO THRU THESE EXPERIENCES PER GOD’S WILL. I ABIDE. Before I come here I did type the letter to college explaining my reasons for moving from Virginia to California and my interest in teaching and learning. This I had to add cause if my brother is reading these lines he is grouching about the time wasted to do other things instead of looking for a job. By the way as I typed these lines the sun got closer to the horizon and less light is available ,so I guess I quit now till they invent a laptop that has flash lights attached to it! J No matter what changes in life, sunrise and sunset stay the same. I watched it way after the sunset was finished. Everyday a different sky is in front of me and clouds play a vital role in showing me all the colors in a sunset reminding me of blue mountain range in Virginia during the fall with all the colors that one could imagine. Thanks for giving me the power to see.